82 Funny Beach Quotes (perfect funny beach captions for Instagram)

Beach Quotes – Funny & Witty

I love the beach so much I’ve got so many quotes about it, and for some reason most of them are funny. Don’t ask me why, no idea 🤷‍♀️

Fact is, you’ll have a lot to choose from. I’ve put these 82 funny beach quotes in 3 categories:

• beach funny quotes: actual quotes about the beach
• beach funny captions: not actual quotes, but perfect caption for your pics
• beach puns: puns about the beach

Find below the best beach quotes, funny & witty:

1. “I’m so happy. I don’t even care that I’ll have sand at the bottom of my bag for months.”
2. “I wasn’t born at the beach, but I got here as fast as I could.”
3. “Babies don’t need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I’ll go over to a little baby and say ‘What are you doing here? You haven’t worked a day in your life!’” Steven Wright
4. 

   A real friend is someone who takes a winter vacation on a sun-drenched beach and does not send a card.

   — Farmer’s Almanac
5. “I’ve got 99 problems, but a beach ain’t one.” Jay-Z

Definitely one of the most famous beach quotes. Well ok, it was not originally about the beach... still great!

1. “A lot of people like snow, I find it an unnecessary freezing of water.” Carl Reiner
2. “The answer may not be at the beach. But shouldn’t we at least check?”
3. “Born to lie on a beach... or a floatie. That’ll work.”
4. 

   Only worry in the world is the tide gonna reach my chair.

   — Zac Brown Band
5. “Life takes you down many paths, but the best ones lead to the beach.”

1. “I live in Florida, and when people ask how close to the beach I am, I say, Twelve minutes or twelve hours. It depends on which beach you want to go to.” —Jarod Kintz
2. “Stop asking me if I want to build a snowman. I want to wear flip flops on a beach with a drink in my hand. Ask me if I want to do that.”
3. “I am definitely a beach person. In fact, I am so much a beach person that my wife is allergic to beaches now.” Barun Sobti
4. “I googled my symptoms... turned out I just needed to go to the beach.”

And there you have them, 14 of the best funny beach quotes for Instagram & more. I hope they got you laughing, or at least smiling!

No? Well, maybe this video will:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kstH2zaemM

Still want more quotes & captions? You’re in luck, I’ve got plenty left in stock 👇

More Funny Beach Captions for Guys & Girls

Looking specifically for funny beach captions for Instagram or other social medias, to go with your funny beach pic?

I’ve got just what you need. Below is a compilation of my favorite beach captions, funny & sure to kill it on the gram.

If anyone tell you it’s lame, send them my way I’ll tell them who’s lame 💅

Here are some great ideas for funny beach Instagram captions:

1. “Let’s be beach bums today.”
2. “I put the bum in beach bum.”
3. “Eat. Beach. Sleep. Repeat.”
4. “Gone to the beach. Back never.”
5. “Beach is cheaper than therapy.”

1. “I miss being on beach vacation and never knowing what day of the week it is.”
2. “A good beach day keeps the doctor away.”
3. 

   The only BS I need in my life is: Beach and Sunshine.

4. “How to get a beach body: Step 1: Have a body. Step 2: Go to the beach.”
5. “Keep calm and go to the beach.”
6. “You can never have too much beach.”

1. “Currently pretending I’m at the beach.”
2. “I need some beach therapy.”
3. “You had me at aloha.”

Read more: the Best Song Lyrics About the Beach

1. “I wonder if the beach misses me.”
2. 

   I’ll have a side of beach with my morning coffee.

3. “High tides, good vibes.”
4. “Memories are made in flip-flops.”

1. “A cloudy day at the beach is still a day at the... Beach!”
2. “Everyone should believe in something. I believe I’ll go to the beach.”
3. “I’m all about the palm trees and 80 degrees.”
4. “Life, love and the pursuit of the next beach trip.”
5. “Keep calm and think of the beach.”

1. 

   B.E.A.C.H. Best Escape Anyone Can Have!

2. “The beach is calling and I must go.”
3. “I’m a true OceanHolic!”
4. “I wish that Beach Therapy was covered by my Health Insurance.”
5. “Live life in a bikini.”
6. “I followed my heart and it lead me to the beach.”

There you go, 29 fresh witty beach captions to go with your beach pic on the gram 🔥

If by now you still haven’t found the perfect caption, I don’t know how to help... Oh wait, I do!

Maybe a great pun is what you need. Let’s find out 👇

Beach Puns – Great Puns About the Beach

And finally, we’ve got our last category: beach captions puns.

These are all puns, around the beach, the sea, or something related.

There are plenty of uses possible for these beach puns: captions, to send as a message or simply to read & have a laugh.

Get the best funny beach puns for Instagram & more:

1. “Having a whale of a time.”
2. “Water we waiting for.”
3. “We run this beach.”
4. 

   Beach please.

5. “I don’t wanna be tide down.”

1. “We shore are going to have a great time!”
2. “No one likes a shady beach.”
3. “Suns out, guns out.”
4. “Time to be nauti.”
5. “Girl just wanna have sun!”

1. “You’ve mermaid my day.”
2. “Don’t let the tide get you down.”
3. “Avoid pier pressure.”
4. “Yeah buoy.”
5. 

   Beachology. Be shore of yourself. Don’t be crabby. Let the worries drift away. Drown out pier pressure. Soak up positive energy. Seas life’s moments.

6. “Aloha beaches!”
7. “Suns out, buns out.”
8. “Beach don’t kill my vibe.”
9. “Shell-abrate good times.”

1. “Long time, no sea.”
2. “Beach hair, don’t care.”
3. “Water you doing?” I’m just sitting by the sea.”
4. “Namast’ay at the beach.”
5. “I need to be seahabilitated.”
6. “Seas the day.”

Read more: the perfect missing the beach quotes while you wait for the next vacation

1. “Living in a fanta’sea’ world.”
2. “Sea-esta”
3. “It’s a shore thing.”
4. “Please excuse my resting beach face.”
5. “Them: You want to go to the beach? Me: For shore.”
6. 

   Give me coffee to change the things I can, and the beach to accept the things I can’t.

7. “We mer-maid for each other.”
8. “I’m upgrading my cell phone for a shell phone today.”
9. “Whale, Hello there.”
10. “What a fin-tastic day.”
11. “If there’s a will, there’s a wave.”

1. “Talk to the palm.”
2. “Life’s a beach!”
3. “Tropic like it’s hot.”

And 82, that’s the end of our funny captions for the beach!

I hope you found inspiration in these quotes, and that you enjoyed reading them all.

By the way, what was your favorite quote of them all? Let me know in the comments below and tell me why you loved it!

My personal favorite is #17 “Eat. Beach. Sleep. Repeat.” – it’s a reminder of my summers spent back in Tunisia when I was younger; the perfect schedule!